The Lightbox Forum

by James Rist

Officially, plenty of therapy exists for bipolar disorder and, and to some extent, addiction–psycho-therapy, cognitive behavioral, light box, confession, group encounters, pharmaceuticals, and electro-convulsive therapy, among others. Most of these methods apply to mental illness, while holistic approaches dominate with addiction. Most therapy is admittedly expensive.

The most costly therapy, unofficially, however, is of course shopping therapy–reportedly the therapy of choice for active mood extremes and addiction.

One of my friends on the east coast laments having so many outfits in the closet that she will never wear all of them–especially those outfits of which she found it necessary to have two or three the same color, size, and style. ("I just couldn’t resist...!") Fashion Bug COULD extend their return period, but that wouldn’t help my friend. ("I can’t make up my mind what I should return! Besides, I’ll wear them all... eventually.")

My wife and I had accumulated such a pile of laundry that we had to go to Wal-Mart to buy clean clothes. True...!

My friend here on the Gulf Coast has often told the story of how he went out to Seven-Eleven for a cup of coffee one morning, and later he returned with a new speed boat!

My wife and I made a list of things we needed for the house so that we would not forget to buy them. Then we took one of our midnight trips to Wal-Mart. On the list we had written toothpaste, cold tablets, bath powder, and something else.

Three steps inside Wal-Mart, my wife stopped dead, in order to inform me that she suddenly realized we also needed toilet paper. I raced for the toilet paper (so I wouldn’t forget it). When I got to the TP display, I reasoned that I should get three 24-roll packs. My wife, in the meantime, had spied something in the clothing section, and she was off to browse.

An hour and half later, we met in the center aisle, next to a display of TV’s. My wife was ogling one TV in particular, which appeared to have a good price. I asked her if she liked it. She said yes, but she reminded me we couldn’t afford it. Nevertheless we put the TV on top of the twelve pounds of candy, seventy-two rolls of toilet paper, five sets of pajamas, two coffee makers, four bags of those tasty Cape Cod Potato chips, two boxes of laundry soap (for the growing pile of laundry), and a 12 pack of D-size batteries (in case some of the four hundred batteries at home should fail).

We loaded everything into the back end of our truck, and plodded home. When we pulled into our driveway, we agreed that we were too tired to haul everything into the house. Besides, we also agreed, we wouldn’t need any of those things for several days. We left everything but the TV in the truck. That was last week. Most of it is STILL in the truck.

After we made our way into the house carrying only the TV, I told my wife that I was not going to open the TV box right away, until we figured out which of the other five TV’s we needed to move out of the way. (FORGET throwing anything away!) I stashed the TV in the closet, and it is still there.

We had thoroughly exhausted ourselves on our little "necessary" trip to Wal-Mart, and we collapsed, each into his favorite chair.

After a few minutes, my wife asked, "Did you get all the things on the list."

I mused for a few seconds, and then I replied, "I forgot about the list...."

It’s not really funny, is it!?

Jim Rist

© 2006 www.cerebral-storm.com

Page 5.

The Lightbox Forum

by James A Rist

I have referred to the NIH (National Institutes of Health), and I want to draw again from the information on their website. The following extract is from http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/encyclopedia_B-Bk.htm.

Note: Manic and depressive symptoms may occur simultaneously or in quick succession in what is called a mixed [state].

Now, to continue building a foundation for this forum, I add some similarities I have observed–things which seem to be common to both bipolar disease and addiction:

self-diagnosis                                             frequent intervention

social barriers                                             obsessive thinking

dysfunctional reasoning                           negative thinking

state dependency                                      psychic disturbance

depression                                                   compulsive behavior

delusional states                                       grandiosity

negative self-esteem                               isolation

loneliness                                                    job ineptness

self destruction                                          confusion

low tolerance for pain                               denial

resistance to treatment                           extreme mood swings

unpredictability                                         solitude

distorted perception                                 heightened emotions

addictive nature                                        volatile temperament

spontaneous relapse

How am I doing so far? Want to send me some input? Go ahead!

With all the definitions and lists and things, please don’t get the idea that I’m some kind of expert. I am, like you, trying to manage my diseases. This forum is for us–to talk, and perhaps the occasional expert.Jim Rist

© 2006 www.cerebral-storm.com

 page 6.

© 2006 www.cerebral-storm.com

Lightbox Forum

by James Rist

I’ve had a little bout with gout, the past few days. In my mind, the pain ranks right up there with that of a toothache.

I knew I had the gout even before I saw my doc. How did I know? I knew because I’d had it before. I recognized the stinging pain, the ache, the inflammation, and the swelling in my foot. The doc knew I knew, and he prescribed indomethacin without even the need to see me. He knew I knew, but, moreover, when I called him, he trusted me and my experience enough to write the prescription.

In a few short lines now, I have written about four very important things in my recovery from addiction and bipolar: PAIN calls attention to my problem; EXPERIENCE motivates me to seek help; SELF-DIAGNOSIS facilitates treatment; and TRUST makes treatment more effective.

The origin (etiology) of pain in mental illness and addiction is matter quite different from the etiology of other diseases. While the pain from most other diseases can be associated with a "physical" event or anomaly, the pain of mental illness is mostly emotional or perceived, if you will. While one might argue that pain relief is humane but not an essential first step in treating a physical disease, the treatment of pain in diagnosed mental illness IS a critical first step; because it is essential to relieve my mental anguish and restore my focus before attending to anything else.

You caught me on THAT one, didn’t you!? ...and you’re right! DIAGNOSIS, not pain relief, is the essential first step in treating disease!

While the clinician or doctor may see, touch, and describe my physical disease, he/she may NOT see or touch the mental disease, and must ironically rely on me to describe the disease, when it is mental illness. Now..., doesn’t that sound a lot like self-diagnosis!? You may say the same for the disease of addiction.

Bipolar disease and addiction do, in time, cause physical diseases, but the presence of the physical diseases does not confirm a diagnosis of bipolar or addiction. For example, liver disease does not confirm my addiction, and a shrunken hippocampus (region of the brain) does not confirm my bipolar disorder. The main indicators for bipolar disorder and addiction are behavioral, not physiological. How do diagnosticians confirm these diseases–that is, how do they connect the behavioral symptoms to the physiological effects of the diseases in order to diagnose the diseases?

The answer? The I must ADMIT to the diagnostician that I have the disease. What’s the proof for this statement?

If I refuse to admit or if I deny having the disease, the disease CANNOT EFFECTIVELY BE TREATED! This leaves the doctor with only one recourse for treatment–pain relief without recovery or cure for the disease. Pain relief in this application without my admission, I am sure you can see, becomes, rather than a remedy, a way to prolong and aggravate my disease--a way to postpone or avoid getting better.

In short, I have to admit to having bipolar disease or addiction, before anyone can give me effective help to recover.

I have made a pretty simple argument, in a small space, to support the idea that pain leads to discovery; and self-diagnosis is the only means of diagnosis for bipolar disease and addiction. The behavior changes and even the physiological damage done by these diseases, even though they are powerful indicators, are not enough for the doctor to diagnose the diseases, thus he must rely on my experience. So if your doc seems passive or indecisive toward your disease, perhaps he is only waiting for you to admit that you have it. Doctors generally avoid "spinning their wheels" until their patient is ready for help. Got it? TRUST it!

If you don’t "got it," please write a note or send an email, so we can talk more about it in the Lightbox Forum. It’s that easy.

Finally, I repeat–I am not an expert. I am not giving you NEW ideas here. I am not plagiarizing, either. I have based what I told you on my experience and the shared experience of others like me, and I have learned from experience to trust the information I share.

So, there it is–the magic "daisy chain" which opens the door to recovery–pain, experience, self-diagnosis, and trust.

Jim Rist

 © 2006 www.cerebral-storm.com